edie carey

THE VEIL 
We thought that we could catch the moon in the window of the way back
Diamond stars on velvet blue in the window of the way back 
Daddy carried me to bed, my arms heavy round his neck 
If I wasn’t sleeping, I’d pretend 

Oh, the sweetness of your breath just like when you were a baby
Full surrender on my chest, I’ve been noticing lately 
Every day you need me less and I know that’s for the best 
Yeah, I know that’s for the best 

We cannot go back, no matter how we wish it
We cannot go back now 

I’ve been traveling all this time like I had a force field around me
Then for a moment we were flying and the floor became the ceiling
A storm of glass and crushing steel, no, it did not seem real 
My hands still clinging to the wheel 

We cannot go back now, the veil is lifted 
We cannot go back now 
We cannot go back no matter how we wish it
We cannot go back now 

When I’m weaving through the crowd, I wonder are they with me or against me
We won’t speak these words out loud but we’ll scream it on the small screen
I’ve never seen such a great divide, so high and so wide 
But it’s been here all this time 

We cannot go back now, the veil is lifted 
We cannot go back now 
We cannot go back, I’m scared that we can’t fix it
We cannot go back 
We thought that we could catch the moon in the window of the way back 

THE OLD ME
Our bed is not so big 
Your whole body is in my reach 
But your heart is miles away from me 

It’s been a long night, long night and I can’t sleep
I wanna hold you tight, hold you like the old me 

I know you’re awake 
Your arms like crossbones across your face
And I know what your silence means 

It’s been a long night, long night and I can’t sleep
I wanna hold you tight, hold you like the old me 

The baby’s crying soft against my skin
That’s how I held our love back then 

On those long nights, long nights, we didn’t need no sleep
You would hold me tight, hold me like you were afraid I’d leave
On those long nights, long nights, you and the old me

THE CHAIN (Carey/Burtt)
When I close my eyes, try to see you as a child
Where it leads to is a picture of how I know you now
I know you must have had some softness 
I don’t know when you lost it 
Maybe I just never came across it 

Will I ever be enough for you?
Are you ever gonna see me through
Another lens that lets all our stories go?
Whose battle are you fighting?
Is it gonna take our whole lifetime 
To learn what we’ve got to lose? 
Will I ever be enough for you? 

Your broken language benediction
This unspoken, false competition
When will we ever lay our armor down?
I remember my heart unguarded
Least I think it was when we started 
I knew the way there, but I can’t find it now 

Will I ever be enough for you? 
Are you ever gonna see me through 
Another lens that lets all our stories go? 
Whose battle are you fighting? 
Is it gonna take our whole lifetime  
To learn what we’ve got to lose?  
Will I ever be enough for you? 

I swore I’d be kind this time
I’m watchin’ the arrows fly 

All these years of second-guessing
Stingy praise, stony blessings 
What if we let go of that cold family chain?

If I’ll never be enough for you 
If you’re never gonna see me through
Another lens than the one you’ve got to use
I’m gonna stop the fighting 
I don’t wanna spend my whole lifetime
Wondering what I have to do 
To ever be enough for you, enough for you
Maybe by freeing me I can free you, too 

I KNOW THIS
In the sweet cocoon of our tiny living room 
My baby girl grins up at me from the floor 
I want to hold her to my chest, but I pull up my mask instead
Blow my love a kiss and fly out the door 

Down the subway’s chipping yellow stairs 
I used to fight for space, now there’s no one there 

I know this will not last 
I know this, it cannot, cannot last
The sun, it’ll come back 

Behind those sliding doors nothing makes sense anymore
They look to me to tell them what to do 
But you can’t train for this, blind shots in the abyss 
I’m terrified and I’m supposed to be bulletproof 

Down that hallway in the last room on the right 
She’s a woman my own age, no one but us to say goodbye 

I know this will not last 
I know this, it cannot, cannot last 
I wanna lay her out in the soft grass
Don’t we all deserve that?

At the end of the day I try to wash it all away 
In water so hot it turns my skin red 
But we can’t curl up close right when we need it most
I crawl into the cold sheets of the pullout bed 

And I know this will not last 
I know this is gonna pass, it’s gotta pass
I just hope I’m not made of glass 

RISE
I saw the face you made 
When you thought I’d looked away 
I see the way you clench your hands
Why’s it so hard to say we’re hurting?
Won’t you hand me half your burden?
You think you can’t show me but you can 

Hold on a little longer, hold on a little longer 
Holding on doesn’t mean that you can’t cry 
I know your shattered heart is stronger than when you started
It’s been a long night, but that sun she’s gonna rise 

Some days I’m made of lead, locked deep inside my head
With all those voices whispering lies 
We’re not made to be alone 
Won’t you let me be your home? 
Left on the porch light, come inside 

Hold on a little longer, hold on a little longer 
Holding on doesn’t mean that you can’t cry 
I know your shattered heart is stronger than when you started
It’s been a long night, but that sun she’s gonna rise 

Hold on, hold on, you’re not alone
Hold on, hold on, you’re not alone 

Hold on a little longer, hold on a little longer 
Oh, love, we’re gonna make it through the night 
I know your shattered heart is stronger than when you started
It’s been a long night, but that sun she’s gonna rise 

Hold on, hold on, you’re not alone
Hold on, hold on, you’re not alone 

THE DAY YOU WERE BORN
I never knew your mother, she’s been gone so long 
I’ll never get to thank her for giving me her son 
And all the light you bring me when my darkness comes
And I’m naked as the day I was born 

Your father’s heart was rusted, hollowed out, closed 
From all the years of silence and the worry and the smoke 
And you could have closed your own heart, still it opened like a rose

Naked as the day you were born, my love 
Naked as the day you were born 

I can get nothing past you, oh, cause you see it all 
You know it drives me crazy, and that’s what made me fall
That’s what made me fall 

Last night in the kitchen I could hear you in the baby’s room
You were singing in a whisper, then your voices bloomed
To a mile-wide vibrato, two boys just howling at the moon 

TEACHER
Why’re you always frowning in the mirror?
Don’t you know your little girl’s watching you? 
I wish you could see yourself clearer 
How the lines on your face they just let the light through 

Every scar on your heart, well, it’s a medal 
A badge of pride for every time you grew 
Show her she never has to settle 
For trying to live up to something that just ain’t true 

I wish you could see how she looks at you
How she looks at you 
Can’t you see she wants to be just like you?
Just like you 

Even if we’ve always known better 
We still tear ourselves apart like we’re scared to win
Try and write yourself a love letter 
Might not come easy, but I know you can 

I wish you could see how I see you 
How I’ve always seen you 
You know that mirror never tells the truth
She can be so cruel 

I know those voices and all their lies
Maybe it’s time we set them all on fire 

I wish you could feel my arms around you 
If I could just get through 
Maybe we could stop those lies from taking root
In your little girl, too 
She was born knowing the truth 

ALL THAT SPACE
Bonfires on the beach
Laughing on the dock ‘til late
We’d play hide and seek
Marvel at the Milky Way 
And all that space 

You don’t know you’re free 
‘Til you see it slip from your hands
Guided only by dreams 
I flew off to distant lands 
And all that space 
I drank in all that space 

Oh, you’re nowhere near the driver’s seat
When it comes to your heart 
We’re all at its mercy 
Fumbling in the dark 

Oh, I fell so deep
Heart-first into this life 
I was a mother now 
I am a good man’s wife, but I lost my place 
I lost my place 

All these pages, they’re just flying by 
Dreams like ashes in the summer sky 
Don’t know if I can save them but I have to try 

I don’t mean to hurt you 
I’m sorry I made you cry 
I gotta hold the wheel now 
I need you to let me drive 
I don’t know if I’m running 
Or just running in place 
I need the echo of my own four walls
The sun on my face 
I have to get more lost now 
If I’m gonna be found 
I need to stretch these wings out
They’ve only known the ground 
If I’m gonna be found 

GEORGIA
Georgia, look at us
Out in all directions
Worn down, paper thin
Nothing to hold onto 

Don’t soften the lines, please 
Leave the whitened skulls floating free Let them remind me 

Georgia, look at you 
Quietly defiant 
It’s his eyes we’re looking through
Was it a mask you had to pry off? 

Don’t soften the lines, please 
Leave the petals lit from underneath
Let them remind me 

Oh, the quiet how it saves me
When I’m inside it I go hazy from the craving 

I wonder, Georgia
Were you ever lonely?
The silence spilling out
Endlessly before you 

Was it water on the desert? 
Or the cold glare of the canvas?
Did it change with the weather? 

Oh, the quiet how it saves me
When I’m inside it I go hazy from the craving 

THE CYPRESS AND THE OAK
Oh, anyone could see 
Even before you fell in deep 
Shane behind her in his physics chair
His fingers woven in her chestnut hair
There was something there 

Oh, the electricity 
Two hearts who knew they were meant to be
All the rest had to find its place 
And that takes time and doubt and faith 
Oh, you found your way 

The Cypress and The Oak 
The Sun Shines on you both
You lean out to let in the light
And that’s what makes you grow
You bask in the other’s glow
Your roots intertwined 

All the tasks that he can’t stand 
She’s right there to take them off his hands
He always does the same for her 
Oh, you’ve never shied away from the work
You know what it’s worth 

The Cypress and The Oak 
The Sun Shines on you both
You lean out to let in the light
And that’s what makes you grow
You bask in the other’s glow
Your roots intertwined 

Oh, she’s a dreamer always making plans
He’s a wood tamer with a steady hand 
All your adventures, great and small
You’ve grown up together through them all 

The Cypress and The Oak 
Oh, the Sun Shines on you both
The same two hearts burning bright
You’ve weathered every storm
You’ve made a life that’s yours 
Feet on the earth, eyes on the sky
Somehow you’ve always known
Good love’s like coming home 
Best friends dancing through this life 

WHO I WAS
5:03, the kitchen’s still quiet
The sun is still hiding 
I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d quit trying, I quit trying 

It used to be you could see all the way to my heart
Even through the dark parts 
Now she’s covered in clippings and clothing and matchbox cars 

But I remember who I was 
I remember who I was 
Blindly brave, a little rough, but just enough 

All those brittle nights back in New York City 
I was dying to make you see me 
It wasn’t your fault, I was dancing with my demons
I know it wasn’t pretty 

Oh, I remember who I was 
I remember who I was 
What we had it was not love
It was just enough 

Starved myself for what?
Bargained with a god I didn’t trust
There was nothing that I didn’t try
Holdin’ on long past the end
Can’t will a heart to beat again
Most of the blame was mine 
A hundred million ways to hide 

Every time I hold my little girl inside my arms
Oh, I’m mending the broken parts in me
Mending the broken parts in me 
Mending the broken parts 
Uncovering my heart 
5 years old, heart open 
Arms reaching up, reaching up
Hair golden in the sun, in the sun
I remember who I was 

YOU'RE FREE
Now the storm has passed 
It left broken glass underneath your feet
You step into the light
Everything is on fire
It’s a strange relief 

To lose it all to the wrecking ball
It’s a bad, bad dream 
Oh, but you’re free 

Everything you have inside a moving van
You just ran up to leave your keys 
And now it’s all gone, you’ve been holding on
Maybe now you can breathe 

To lose it all to the wrecking ball
It’s a bad, bad dream 
Oh, but you’re free 

To let it go, let fall the stones 
You carried in your sleeves
Maybe now you’ll get some sleep
You’re free, you’re free